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It was spurned by a blog post that basically came out and said, "Breastfeeding moms: Why can't you cover up?" Actually, that was even the title of the post, verbatim.
Trust me, I see the bazillion different reasons why that title and the point of the post are just.so.wrong. I do. But this isn't about that post, or it's author (which is why I'm not linking or citing, because that's not what this is about). This is about the larger conversation about breastfeeding.
Honestly, it can't even always be called a conversation. Too often, it derails into heated, reactionary, emotional words that are hostile to all involved.
To all involved; including the ones speaking (or typing, as it were).
If we are going to make progress in the world of breastfeeding and give it a makeover, a la Best for Babes, the arguing and hostility has got to STOP.
It seems as though every time someone tweets something negative about breastfeeding, there are people standing ready to light the torches and throw up the Bat signal: come on, let's get 'em, unleash the fury of the lactivists!
I'm not seeing positive progress from it, are you?
And to be clear: I'm not using the term 'lactivist' in anything close to a derogatory manner. I, myself, am a lactivist.
I firmly believe in first giving the benefit of the doubt to those disparaging breastfeeding. I speak from experience: had you asked me even three years ago if I planned to breastfeed, I would've given you a staunch "hell no, that's gross!".
I have been the uninformed, poorly enculturated person uttering those words. I had no concept of their weight or implications; I only understood how they related to me and my situation.
Luckily, my feelings were met with respect, acceptance, and education. And that led to me breastfeeding.
If I'd been attacked and torn down for how I felt, I would have dug in further and written off breastfeeding all together. I would have not breastfed on principle, based on that kind of reaction.
Yes, there are those who say negative things about breastfeeding just to be inflammatory. I don't think I'm going to change the attitude of someone who's coming to the table with that intent, so I don't engage with them. Engaging is what they're after, and doing so only encourages the bad behavior.
But for those who speak from ignorance, misinformation, or both: we are doing the breastfeeding community at large a disservice by meeting them with hostility and negativity.
First, we need to band together in a positive way in order to promote our cause. Supporting each other should be our first step in supporting others. In-fighting never made progress for any group.
We must be open to the conversation about breastfeeding. The nonjudgmental, open, respectful conversation. If we can't have a civil discussion about it, we're certainly not going to convince anyone that they should support us and our cause. That means listening to some things that we probably don't want to hear ("breastfeeding is gross!" for instance), and not jumping the gun on a reactionary response.
That said, some will see our side and some won't. And that's ok, too. Every other mother in my family formula fed their babies, and yet we still manage to be friendly and even love one another! It's ok to agree to disagree, and it's completely possible to do so respectfully and even with acceptance for others' choices.
In light of all of this, I pledge to...
1...support the other members of the breastfeeding community.
2....support the right of every parent to choose how to feed their child without facing judgment or hostility.
3....behave in a manner that is civil and respectful toward others, promoting the education and understanding that will further this cause.
Are you with me?
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